


191 - Mermaid Queens, Mental Health, & Puppies

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: Cute meet, F/M, Reader-Insert, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 03:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17399486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: Filling the prompts “a fic where everyone loves how put together, happy, and confident the reader seems, but van finds out after a while they’re really the complete opposite and van is super comforting? Maybe with some variation of the line, "And I know you’re feeling tired. Just let me hold you for a bit.” from a song by Front Porch Step?“ "Van loves short girls. Like 5’ 1” and “van gets the reader a puppy?”





	191 - Mermaid Queens, Mental Health, & Puppies

It was easy to see why people thought you were attention seeking. Why else would you wear a glittery mermaid crown to a non-themed house party? The few people that knew you well would know it was because you liked mermaids and glitter, and weird and wonderful things. They'd know you didn't care what other people thought and that you truly believed that every day could and should be Halloween. They'd refer to the hours you'd spent collecting shells and hot gluing them together to make something unique and special and beautiful. But those people were few and far between. Most people, and almost certainly a majority of those at the party, just wrote you off as a show off.

Zenna wanted to sit, so you followed her through the house. There was an open doorway and the room was dark. Inside a television screen was illuminated, and in its glow sat a group of guys throwing pillows around. Standing next to Zen in the doorway, you looked at them carefully. You didn't recognise them.

"Are you guys… watching a movie? Like, having a proper sleepover? At a party?" she asked them. Their attention all turned to you both. Another body popped out from under a blanket. He had the most room on the couch and was one of only two with a blanket.

"Yeah. What of it?" one of them replied.

"Nothing. Very cute," Zen said with a shrug and went to leave.

"Wait!" the one under the blanket yelled.

"Yeah, wait. Have you been to the kitchen? There any food?" a different one asked. Zen smirked and shrugged. "You can join us if you bring food," he continued. You looked at Zen and watched one of her perfect eyebrows rise.

"The mermaid can stay. I'll look after her," blanket boy said. You turned to him. He was rosy cheeked from being so warm and he was grinning. The television screen had a sparkly reflection in his eyes. Zenna snorted.

"Fine, but I want a blanket when I get back," she said. They all nodded.

"Wait, don't leave me," you whispered as she went to leave. She pulled you into a hug.

"They are having a slumber party at a fuckin' house party. People out there doin' coke and these ones want chips and blankeys. You'll be fine," she whispered back.

You watched her leave then turned back around. Blanket boy held out a hand, and you carefully crossed over the mess of bodies and soft materials to get to him. He pulled you down onto the couch and into his arms. You yelped, which made everyone laugh. He pulled the blanket over you and tucked you in completely, like you'd not just met. Like you'd spent a life bundled up together on a couch like that.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi,"

"Why you wearin' that?" he asked.

"Why not?"

"Fair point, Little Fish. Where'd ya get it?"

He reached out and started to touch it, running his index finger over the smooth shells.

"I made it,"

"You what?!" His voice turned into a loud screech, and the others looked over. They were previously trying to work out what film to watch. He looked over at them. "She made that!" The nodded, clearly not as impressed as him. Even your friends didn't react like that.

"Do you wanna wear it?" you asked him. His face lit up and he nodded fast. He'd have to let you out of the blanket burrito he'd created, and as you sat up he made a little whiney sound that didn't seem voluntary. You carefully put the crown on his head. It sat well and his brown hair curled around it.

"Do I look as cute as you?"

"Not possible, but almost," you replied. He grinned and nodded. He turned back to his friends.

"Van the Mermaid Man," one of them said. He had curly hair and had a girl in his lap. She was cuddled around his waist, and you didn't even see her before. She was asleep, or at least pretending to be.

"Well, it's a better look than that fuckin' hat you wore that one time," another said, he also had curly hair, but it was pulled into a fluffy bun.

The boy, Van, laughed. He looked back at you. "Don’t think anyone could ever look as cute as you, yeah?"

You would have blushed but your cheeks were already rosy from the warmth of the room. He carefully took the crown off and handed it back. You leaned over and placed it on the coffee table. Safe and less likely to poke Van's eye out that way. Back in the burrito, Van made a small gasping sound.

"What's ya name?!" he almost yelled.

"Y/N. And, my friend is Zenna. Zen,"

"I'm Van. This one is Sideshow Bob, and that's Benji and Dani. Larry is behind the couch. He passed out already,"

"It's not even one am?"

They laughed and nodded.

"Okay! I'm here! I'm queer! I've found a fuck ton of food that was probably meant for everyone but it's ours now!" Zenna yelled as she walked back into the room. Her arms were full of packets of chips and in her hands she held jars of salsa. She lowered it all onto the table, careful to avoid your crown.

She took a place between the tangled bodies of you and Van, and Bob. It was decided you'd watch the John Wick sequel. Zen made a weird choking sound when Ruby Rose appeared on screen. You chuckled. Van looked at you for an explanation.

"Ruby Rose is her crush. Like, her exact type," you whispered. He nodded.

"She is hot, but not my type," Van replied. It was an open invitation to ask what his type was. You bit your bottom lip to hold back a smile. Watching the screen, you replied.

"What's your type?"

"Ahhhh, I don't know. Teeny tiny pretty things in mermaid crowns, I guess. Bit like you, Little Fish," he replied. Biting or not, the smile emerged and you couldn't do anything but shake your head.

When the film had ended, Bob got up and turned the light on. From behind the couch, Larry groaned loudly. You peaked over and looked at him. His eyes opened and he studied your face for a second.

"Larry, look!" Van called as he put the mermaid crown back on your head. "She made this!"

"That's nice, mate. Glad you found your fuckin' soulmate there," he said monotone and rolled over. You glanced at Zenna, who was watching you with a grin.

It was almost three in the morning and your tummy had begun to hurt from the amount of snacks you'd consumed. Van let you out of the mess of blankets, and after saying goodbye to the others, he walked you and Zen out to her car. He hugged her and she got into the driver's seat.

"So… Do you maybe want to hang out again?" It was straight up and genuine. You nodded and typed your number into his phone when he handed it over. "When?"

"When what?" you asked back.

"When can we hang? You free tomorrow?" He was grinning like it was a joke, but it probably wasn't. You licked your lips.

"No. The next day, Sunday, I am. You can come over and I'll cook you breakfast?"

Van closed his eyes and breathed in deep. "Little Fish cooks," he whispered, mostly to himself probably. You laughed and reached out to hug him. He was a lot taller than you. You barely reached his collarbones. Heart height.

…

Saturday afternoon, Van messaged asking if you wanted him to bring anything. There were markets close to your house and they'd be open early. One of the stalls sold the best bagels you'd ever had. Another had huge strawberries almost as big as your hand. He was fifteen minutes late when he knocked on your door Sunday morning. As you opened it for him, it became clear why. He was balancing two bags and a bunch of flowers.

"Why'd nobody tell me 'bout all the cool stuff markets have?!" he said instead of a regular greeting. You laughed and beckoned him to follow you to the kitchen. It occupied the same space as the lounge room, which was your bedroom too. You would have called the apartment a loft, but that made it sound a lot fancier than it was. "These are for you. Look at them! How do they do that?"

You took the flowers he was holding out. They were chrysanthemums that had been artificially rainbow coloured. A novelty that you were very into.

"I don't know, but I love them. They're amazing,"

"Yeah? Thought you'd like the colours," he said, his voice calming down. Was he nervous that you wouldn't like them? "Speaking of. You said bagels but you didn't say what type. I didn't even know there were so many types." He was digging through the bags.

"You got the rainbow ones, didn't you,"

"I got you a rainbow one. I got me a normal one," he replied, looking over to smile. The strawberries, as requested. Bananas, "…'cause these ones are tiny and cute, like you." A dragonfruit, because it looked interesting. Some lychees, because he had them in Japan and liked the sweetness. Homemade chili jam. Fresh chocolate milk. Pumpkin bread.

"Do you think we're gonna eat all of this for breakfast?" you asked, laughing, happy at his enthusiasm. He took a seat at the breakfast bar, which was also the only bench space in the kitchen.

"Well, Little Fish, figured I'd supply us, just in case I stay later than breakfast," he said with an awkward wink.

Lucky that Van was presumptuously prepared, because he did stay later than breakfast. When you asked him why he kept calling you Little Fish, he said besides the obvious factors that you were both little and wearing a mermaid crown when you'd met, he had a deep love for the film Big Fish. You'd not seen it, so that meant downloading the film and watching. He was right, it was amazing. After that, he wanted to watch your favourite film. The Chumscrubber, an American indie film, was definitely darker than Big Fish, but it was also weird and strange and Van loved it. Then, it was lunch time. Van cut the pumpkin bread up with a smug look on his face while you brewed tea.

"Do you live here alone?" he asked when he'd finished.

"Did the one bed loft vibe give that away? Yeah, but I'm moving in with Zen soon. Don't love living alone too much," you said. He nodded like he understood. Van seemed like a people person.

You failed to mention that you had essentially lost the ability to live by yourself. All your innate confidence and extroversion couldn't stop you from falling apart at night. It couldn’t stop you from feeling alone and isolated. It was clear that Van had already formed an idea about you, one where you were larger than life. Magnificent, glorious sunshine. Maybe his faith in that would manifest in it being true.

"She's got a big backyard, so maybe we can get a puppy or something," you continued with a shrug.

"I got a dog. Name's Mary. She's the cutest thing ever. See," he replied, pulling his phone out to show you photos.

…

Living with Zen helped. It meant that you had only half the amount of cooking and cleaning to do. Small life tasks that seemed overwhelming were easier to manage with someone by your side. More energy could spent on being the bubbly, perfect person Van thought you were. And fuck, did that take energy.

"You know, I think he'll still like you if you're… calmer… Like, you don't have to be the mermaid princess girl all the time,"

"I'm just scared that he won't like me if I'm not… I don't know,"

"Little Fish?"

You nodded.

Van was an open book and you'd spent a lot of time around him. Logically you knew he was not the type of person to suddenly dislike you if you wanted more low-key dates that weren't filled with colour and excitement. You'd probably still be Little Fish if you were quiet and sad. Although never lying to Van, you'd still managed to carefully construct a version of yourself around the idea of the girl at the party with the mermaid crown. She couldn't be gloomy or angry or tired or moody. She had to be sunshine. She had to be glittery. She couldn't possibly be the opposite of that.

…

"We could go see that band you've been talkin' about? They're in town, right? Or maybe go for a walk down near the water?" you suggested. Van was quiet over the phone for a second. You could hear his even breathing.

"So you definitely want to go out then?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"We could stay in if you wanted to?"

"I don't mind. If you want I can come over and cook-"

"Y/N. We don't always have to do something, you know? Larry's out, so just come over and we'll order in or something. Just hang out," Van said. There was a nervousness in his voice that was fear you'd not want that. That maybe without the buffer of an activity, you wouldn't want to be around him. "I know you have to always be doin' something, and that's fine. I'm kind of the same. But we like each other enough just to… I don't know…"

"Be together?" you finished for him. The relief had washed over you. Eyes closed and mouth grinning, he'd solved a problem he didn't know existed.

"Yeah, whatdaya think?"

"I think that sounds perfect."

…

Obviously, Zenna would never talk to Van about you behind your back. His sudden change in behaviour was still suspicious though. The crazy fun dates slowed down, and you started to spend more and more time doing fuck all together. You never would have guessed it was the type of relationship he wanted. Maybe, then, it was time to talk about that.

"Think you love her more than you love me," Van said, leaning against a tree in his backyard smoking. He was watching you roll across the grass with Little Mary. You grinned up at him.

"I've always wanted a puppy. I think I can probably get one soon, 'cause Zen says so. They can be friends with Mary,"

"Probably have to give her a Little name. Little Fish. Little Mary. Little Whatever," Van replied.

"Then you don’t fit in,"

"Too tall to be a Little. I can be the adopted one."

You laughed and nodded, returning your attention to the dog.

"Y/N? Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah,"

"Um… Are you… okay?"

You looked up at him. His face was sad and was an unfamiliar expression of worry.

"What do you mean?" you asked, trying hard to stay calm. Van moved to sit near you.

"You just… seem different to when we first met. I know it's only been a couple of months, so we're still probably… like, getting to know each other proper and stuff. But, I really like you. I love you. I just wanna make sure you're okay," he said, careful in his choice of words.

"How am I different?" You knew exactly how, but you needed to know what he'd noticed. What were the changes that were visible and which were hurting him?

"Well… You were kind of all over the place, you know? Always needing to do something and be around people. Seemed to have everything figured out. But now you're… quieter, and you don't want to go out as much,"

"We can go out more,"

"That's not what I'm saying, babe. You know me. Happy with a cup of tea and a smoke in front of the telly, you know? Just… If this is you, that's good. If the other you is you, that's good too. If you're both, good. I just need to know you're okay."

You'd never seen yourself from a perspective of duality. Maybe you were bubbly, sparkly mermaid crown-wearing, and also a little bit gloomy and sad sometimes. Maybe you could be both and work out how to reconcile that.

"I don't know if I'm okay. I think I'm both those things, maybe. I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out," you told him. He nodded and thought for a second, scratching Mary behind the ears. She licked at his hand.

"Okay. Will you tell me if there's anythin' I can do to help? I wanna look after you,"

"Yeah. Yeah, I will."

…

"Y/N! There's a boy here with a giant box and the box is making sounds and I have to go or I'll be late for my flight so I'll see you in a couple of weeks! Be good! Stay safe! Wear a condom! Eat your vegetables! Love you!" Zenna yelled. She was somewhere else in the house, nowhere near the bathroom you were getting ready in.

"Love you too!" you yelled back.

Walking through the house you found Van in the kitchen with, yes, a huge box. It was shaking and there was clearly a live animal in it.

"Van! You can't put animals in boxes!"

"No, it's okay, see, he's only been in there for a minute," he replied quickly, laughing. "Um. But maybe get him out. This is a present for you…" he added.

You took the lid off and pulled the puppy out. He was a little brown and white Boston Terrier. He started to frantically shake and lick at your face.

"Oh. My. God!" you squealed and ran outside with the puppy. Van chuckled and followed along behind you.

You put the puppy on the grass and watched him run around in stupid circles. Eyes filling with tears, you pulled Van into a hug.

"You get along with Mary. You wanted a puppy. Zen said it was okay. Thought he could keep you company when you're alone, you know? 'Cause you get all sad and stuff, and you don't want people, but you don't want to be alone. So…"

"Van," you whispered, looking up at him. He really was much taller than you. "You're…"

"The best boyfriend ever? Yeah, I know. I pull it together sometimes," he said with a shrug, looking over at the puppy. "What's his name then?"

You squirmed out of Van's arms and knelt on the ground. The puppy came bouncing over to you. "Little Something, yeah?"

"Yeah. I've just been calling him Little Fish,"

"But I'm Little Fish,"

"He can be Little Fish Junior," Van said.

"How 'bout that, L. F. J.? Does that suit you?" you asked the puppy. The puppy barked, which sent Van into a cackling laugh. 

"Guess that settles it?"


End file.
